Rafe Guttman

Name: Rafe Guttman
Category: Human, American, Hero, Private Investigator, Vampire Hunter
Age: Early 30s
Origin: USA
Habitat: Abandoned Movie Theater
General Description: Who's the Jewish private dick who’s a sex machine to all the Christian chicks. Rafe! Ya damn right! They say this cat Rafe is a bad mother... Shut your mouth! I'm talkin' 'bout Rafe...
Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: Katherine Verdoux, Rev. 'J.C.' Current
Sworn Enemies: Lillith
Special Powers: Ability to deliver sarcastic one-liners at a moments notice
Weapons of Choice: Super soaker water gun filled with holy water and a convenient cross shaped super laser
Weaknesses: Possesses only one business card. Destroying it destroys his only semi-believable credential.
Hobbies: Eavesdropping around police stations in search for prospective customers
Pet Peeves: Getting his dick crazy-glued to bullets and/or having sex with vampires
Best Lines:
1) - A whorehouse?
- A house inhabited by whores.
2) You remind me why being married to you drove to the brink of homosexuality
3) Nice place, sort of like Superman’s dad joint on Krypton.
4) I’m reasonably sure you’re the type of woman who’s never heard the expression “half-cocked,” but that is exactly what this gun is, and I swear I’ll use it.
Total Estimated Power Rating: 10
5 Base Intellect Points + 3 Base Physical Power Points + 2 Weapon Points for the Holy Super Soaker and the “Laserlight of the Lord”
Power Level: Medium. If sarcasm could kill, Rafe would have been a true champion. In the real world he has to rely on his intellect... and the Super Soaker
Identification: If you encounter a piss poor Jewish private dick, who can go no longer than 10 seconds without cracking a joke, and his business card says his name is Rafe Guttman – you are probably dealing with Rafe Guttman. Now give him back his business card.
How to Recruit: Instead of calling 911 always report crime while being physically present at the police station. Speak loud and clear to make sure everyone can hear you. Wait for Rafe to approach you.
How to Stay on His Good Side: Pay him $150 per day + expenses ($75 if you are an attractive female)
What to Look Out For: His private investigator license has expired long ago, but hey - it’s just a piece of paper, right? Plus you don't need a permit to use a Super Soaker.
Additional Character Images:



Movies Featuring the Character:
- Bordello of Blood (1996)

1 comment:

Nathan Forester said...

You have to do on Reverend J.C and/or Katherine and her brother Caleb.